It is June 11th, 2013 at 11:41am. I am sitting at my desk at work, bored, and the only thing I can think about are how the things I have accomplished over the past year are more important than the things I have accomplished for the past 25 years of my life. In January I decided what I wanted to do with myself and enrolled in school…again after telling my mother to fuck off from being on my back for soo long. I will be graduating this December. Sorry, but you cannot force someone to do something with their life when they are not ready. In our younger years we were told that we must graduate high school, go to some overrated college and we will find our dream 9-5 job. Now that we are in our 20’s, 30-somethings we know that is bullshit…with exceptions. Don’t go to an expensive university, loans will suck the life out of you. The name of it doesn't matter; your skills and being able to market yourself do. You’re not going to get your dream job right away just because you graduated Cum Laude and your dad is friends with the Governor and district commissioners. More than likely you will start a job being someone’s bitch. You will hate it and do everything in your power to make sure this isn't somewhere that you will be stuck for the rest of your life.
Just note that I am writing this throughout the year. Not just today. So as experiences happen and people walk in and out of my life I will jot them down to the best of my ability.
2013 Lessons Learned:
1. Sometimes you just have to put your pride aside and ask for help when you need it.
2. I learned how to twerk…from Miley Cyrus. Not sure If that is really a lesson.
3. Some of the things I was taught in middle/high school that I thought were irrelevant in the real world are actually quite beneficial. Schools just need to explain how it's all connected.
4. The medical world is not meant to be understood so do not try to understand it. Just go with the flow. That is how most doctors end up crazy.
5. Your past does not define you who you are…what you learned from it does.
Now I will attempt to write down sentimental thank you’s and fuck you’s to people in or out of my life without getting emotional. Here it goes:
To Daniel & Gordy aka DJ Loko & DJ Gorday! Daniel, you have shown me that not every frat boy is a misogynistic beer-swilling, arrogant, sports enthused person. You are actually very cool for the minor crush I have had on you for quite some time. I miss our walks and crazy conversations to Gordy’s house after the bars closed at 4 in the morning. You have shown me that no matter what life brings you go out and dance, drink some Loko and have a good time. Gorday! Every time I see you I get the biggest smile on my face. I will never forget the time you had Daniel and I laughing uncontrollably because you couldn't remember the name of a song we requested. You guys will always be brothers to me for life.
To Sterling, Billy & Tim: Sterling…I miss you. We all do. The phone call I received from you after I left your home, you asked me to come back because you were still up and not as tired as you thought. Honestly I wish I did come back. Something told me to go back, but I didn’t. I regret it. I would never forget that night we went to the drive-thru of Wendy’s and before you got your order you said, “I hope they don’t put cheese on my burger. Every time I tell them not to put cheese on my burger, they always put cheese,” and of course when you checked your order there was cheese on your burger. I don’t know why I think that is so funny for as mad as you were. Then we went back to your place along with Catherine and Daniel and joked about how we have the same initials and if our last name started with a “D” our initials would be S.T.D. I will never forget traveling to the mountain house for only knowing you and your friends for just a few days and pretending we were in a roller-coaster in the bathtub.
If it wasn't for you I would have never met these amazing people named Billy and Tim. Thank you. You have left a great piece of you with me. Billy, for as long as I have known you, no matter what my jaw will always drop with your random outburst about sex and getting laid and Tim you are a great inspiration. I do not know what I would do without you both in my life. It definitely wouldn't be as exciting and Tim, fuck Vera Wang…you are hired to design my wedding gown. I wish I was closer to the both of you. We need to make more time for each other between our busy lives.
To Koral & Ceddy: My A-Team. My brother and sister. My Statesboro gang. I will never forget our skinny dipping sessions in the pool or our late night runs to Mickie D’s and trying to scare ourselves on ghost road. You guys made my college experience a memorable one. Koral, thank you for being a shoulder to lean on while I cried over Evan for days and being there for me when I had no one. You will always be my best friend. I cannot wait for us to get married so we can be a part of each other’s wedding and make drunken speeches. To Cedric, my twin. You always kept me up on my toes to where it was hard to catch up. For as much as I try to understand you I'm not really sure if I ever will. I love you both.
To Michael: This time I will try not to get emotional so I will make it short. You already know how much of a great deal you have changed my outlook on life in a course of a few months. I am soo happy for you and all that you have overcome. You have restored my faith in God for I know good things are coming my way. You are truly blessed.
To Amber: I will never forget our first encounter at E.T.C.A and out of the blue you said, “You know, I always thought you were stuck up, but you’re actually pretty cool." Well thanks Ambs. I love how swank and posh we are. I'm happy we have grown as close as we are over the past couple of years.
To my sister Makeda: Even though our parents say I asked for a baby sister which I still deny to this day, if it is true, I’m glad I did. I honestly don’t know what kind of person I would be if you didn’t come out of mom’s vagina. I envy the amount of confidence and “go-getta” attitude that you have. I am very proud of you.
To my brother, Specialist Teddy James and other military men and women out there: You are my hero. Thank you. You lack the amount of respect you deserve.
To the Dean of Nursing at GA Southern who said I didn't have the drive of what it takes to be successful. Like Chris Brown said, “Look at me now”. You have inspired me to prove you wrong. Hope you enjoyed the letter I sent you. That’s how a lady says, “Go fuck yourself” nicely.
To the special and not so special guys who I have met over the course of this year who I wish to keep anonymous…
To the boy who I met at Piedmont Park with the most adorable son ever: I couldn't get you out of my head for a while and it made my head hurt, but in a good way. Growing up I was taught that atheist were devil worshippers and if I hung out with them they would suck the Holy Spirit out of me. Being around you has taught me that you (atheist) are like every other human being no matter what religion, race, sex, etc; with the exception that you have a short soul and lack of empathy as you have admitted.
You are actually kind and warm and you have the intellect that many people envy. You have left an imprint in my life. Not many people can do that. Every time I make a decision I will ask myself which will have a better story to tell as long as it will not harm anyone along the way. I will continue to take photos of life around me even on a rainy day and look through the glass instead of in it. I'm glad I met you.
You are the reason for the title of this blog.
To the son of one of my good friends from school: Well…there’s just really not that much to say about you.
To the boy who tried to bring another girl on our date as if I would think it was okay: you are an asshole, but I see your type are those who look like they eat fast food everyday. I refuse to weigh that much.
Here goes my rant...
To the parents who jaywalk with their kids in the middle of a busy intersection, set a better example. To rapist, murders and terrorists, fuck you. To the boys whose reason for cheating on their girlfriend’s is because, “she don’t treat me right.” What the fuck? Break up with her like a real man . To the females who find a man or have a child and say their life is “complete”, you are a moron, your life isn't complete until you are dead. To the government who hacked my blog to read this, this is not what I pay you for. To the arrogant sons-a-bitches who believe that homosexuality is a choice…did you not hear anything Lady Gaga said?
I do not use obscene language because I am angry. I use it because I like the ‘F’ word.
The whole point of this is that even though life gave me some bad lemons, it also gave me you to help me turn those lemons into orange juice. Who wants sour lemonade any way?
Thank you all for reading this. If you were not mentioned it doesn't mean you have any less of a value in my life. I can only hope that I have inspired you all in some way that you have done with me. Through the good and bad I have learned a lesson from each and every one of them. You are all absolutely amazing. I cannot express my love for you in the simplicity of this blog, but I must go now for I have ranted, cried and laughed while writing this.
"Behind every photograph there is a story to tell." Enjoy.